Silence
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The silence of a woman may mean anything; she may need you, hate you, want answers, want an apology or perhaps she just wants you. Nevertheless, her silence is golden as it really means something. Her silence needs to be inferred and investigated like a police officer solving the mysterious death of a celebrity. One must not ever assume that her silence means nothing, because it will ultimately bring harm to anyone who crosses her path.
I suppose I am keeping mum about certain things I don't wish to disclose to anyone. And perhaps that's the reason I've been keeping myself busy with activities to prevent myself from thinking about it. It's a horrible feeling when you try your best to keep things only to yourself because you don't want to harm any more people. It's even more tortureous to know that you're hiding a fact from yourself.
I feel like I'm starting secondary school all over again. Yes, secondary school and not primary school. Why, you may ask? Because history is repeating itself and I know for a fact that the past is the one that shapes the future. I may sound deep but it is true, at least to me. It's the same thing all over again.
You may say it is my ego. Yes, I do admit it is my ego. No one can ever deny that they do not have an ego. I am tired of being the one who has to give in. All my life, I have been the one to be blamed although I am not. I forgive others easily because I believed that if I did, they would do the same to me. I believed that if I forget about what they did to me, they would forget what I did to them.
It's really sad when you've seen someone work their way to the top knowing that you helped them in one way or another and all of a sudden, they disappeared from your life and pretended you never existed. If you do happen to stumble upon them, all you get is a 'hello' and 'goodbye'. If you really needed to see them, they put on a professional exterior as though you were their client. If you called them, the only thing you get is a busy tone or the answering machine.
It's even sadder when you've been so close to them like sisters and the next moment, you're the one whom the fingers are pointing to. You tried your best to help them get back on track, but perhaps your ways were not favourable. You tried other means but you still get a middle finger shoved into your face. Sometimes, it's not just the finger. They hurl words you never thought existed in your face and at the same time expanding your vocabulary.
But you know what's even sadder? When the entire crew isn't on your side. They refuse to hear the other side of the story. They think you don't want to have any sort of relationship with you just because you kept mum. They think your silence means nothing. And nothing means 'I am right and you are wrong.' You never said those words and you never meant harm by keeping quiet. All you wanted was to explain and an answer from them as well. You needed to spill the beans because you knew it was the truth. It was something that shouldn't be hidden from the others. And they knew very well of it.
Then you became a stranger to them. When everyone was back in the old school happily with their own clique of friends, you were the loner. The only one hopping around from clique to clique talking to them so that you won't look too awkward or strange. But deep inside, you knew you just didn't want to talk to them at all.
Text messages never existed, what more phone calls? Emails? How you wish. Skype calls? Ok fine, you get my point. But it was even more hurtful when you thought they would at least try to talk to you, they didn't bother at all.
All I'm saying is, you can never survive a broken relationship unless it's the ones with your very own blood. Learn to live alone because in the Hereafter, it's just you and yourself. But try to remember that whatever you're doing now is to please the Almighty. Please Him and you might feel at ease.
I suppose I am keeping mum about somethings I don't wish to disclose to anyone. But this song tells it all.
The Right to Write Me Off- Amber Pacific
Can we make this last forever
With every word we're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you know
It's growing old to see us torn by every choice that I have made
In every instant you were right to write me off and move ahead
And I think I let you down, I throw it all away
I never meant to break it up or make you feel this way
It's getting colder through these walls that seem to thin to break us now
A perfect ending still in line though it seems our time is running out
And just a call from you would make this go away
I never felt this day would come, I'll never be the same
Can we make this last foreverWith every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know
Through open eyes I sense a feeling painted black that lines your heart
It's bleeding through just like the colors that I've seen right from the start
And if I had the choice to do this all again
Would you be inclined to notice it or would you just pretend...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time togetherSeem as though we never started
And it hurts to be the only one to know
Remember how we used to be...
Remember how we used to be...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go...
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know
I suppose I am keeping mum about certain things I don't wish to disclose to anyone. And perhaps that's the reason I've been keeping myself busy with activities to prevent myself from thinking about it. It's a horrible feeling when you try your best to keep things only to yourself because you don't want to harm any more people. It's even more tortureous to know that you're hiding a fact from yourself.
I feel like I'm starting secondary school all over again. Yes, secondary school and not primary school. Why, you may ask? Because history is repeating itself and I know for a fact that the past is the one that shapes the future. I may sound deep but it is true, at least to me. It's the same thing all over again.
You may say it is my ego. Yes, I do admit it is my ego. No one can ever deny that they do not have an ego. I am tired of being the one who has to give in. All my life, I have been the one to be blamed although I am not. I forgive others easily because I believed that if I did, they would do the same to me. I believed that if I forget about what they did to me, they would forget what I did to them.
It's really sad when you've seen someone work their way to the top knowing that you helped them in one way or another and all of a sudden, they disappeared from your life and pretended you never existed. If you do happen to stumble upon them, all you get is a 'hello' and 'goodbye'. If you really needed to see them, they put on a professional exterior as though you were their client. If you called them, the only thing you get is a busy tone or the answering machine.
It's even sadder when you've been so close to them like sisters and the next moment, you're the one whom the fingers are pointing to. You tried your best to help them get back on track, but perhaps your ways were not favourable. You tried other means but you still get a middle finger shoved into your face. Sometimes, it's not just the finger. They hurl words you never thought existed in your face and at the same time expanding your vocabulary.
But you know what's even sadder? When the entire crew isn't on your side. They refuse to hear the other side of the story. They think you don't want to have any sort of relationship with you just because you kept mum. They think your silence means nothing. And nothing means 'I am right and you are wrong.' You never said those words and you never meant harm by keeping quiet. All you wanted was to explain and an answer from them as well. You needed to spill the beans because you knew it was the truth. It was something that shouldn't be hidden from the others. And they knew very well of it.
Then you became a stranger to them. When everyone was back in the old school happily with their own clique of friends, you were the loner. The only one hopping around from clique to clique talking to them so that you won't look too awkward or strange. But deep inside, you knew you just didn't want to talk to them at all.
Text messages never existed, what more phone calls? Emails? How you wish. Skype calls? Ok fine, you get my point. But it was even more hurtful when you thought they would at least try to talk to you, they didn't bother at all.
All I'm saying is, you can never survive a broken relationship unless it's the ones with your very own blood. Learn to live alone because in the Hereafter, it's just you and yourself. But try to remember that whatever you're doing now is to please the Almighty. Please Him and you might feel at ease.
I suppose I am keeping mum about somethings I don't wish to disclose to anyone. But this song tells it all.
The Right to Write Me Off- Amber Pacific
Can we make this last forever
With every word we're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you know
It's growing old to see us torn by every choice that I have made
In every instant you were right to write me off and move ahead
And I think I let you down, I throw it all away
I never meant to break it up or make you feel this way
It's getting colder through these walls that seem to thin to break us now
A perfect ending still in line though it seems our time is running out
And just a call from you would make this go away
I never felt this day would come, I'll never be the same
Can we make this last foreverWith every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know
Through open eyes I sense a feeling painted black that lines your heart
It's bleeding through just like the colors that I've seen right from the start
And if I had the choice to do this all again
Would you be inclined to notice it or would you just pretend...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time togetherSeem as though we never started
And it hurts to be the only one to know
Remember how we used to be...
Remember how we used to be...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go...
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know...
Can we make this last forever
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know
posted by sharmee at 9:28 PM
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