Musings of A Girl Named Sharmee

Praises to the Almighty, Allah for guiding SKREM Productions to success.

Yes, my friends, SKREM Productions managed to clinch the second prize for the 8 Minutes Muslim Youth Film Making Competition.

I couldn't be any happier. It's like a dream come true. I've always wanted to produce a proper short film and now I've done it with a bunch of very supportive and talented friends. I always begin with the end in mind, and keeping the vision of a happy ecstatic SKREM Productions is what I've been holding on to ever since the start of the competition. Now, it's all worth it. The money spent, the hours staying out late, the night I didn't come home to finish editing and the lack of sleep. It's all worth it.

That's not all, my mum and I got one minute of fame when Berita on Suria featured us. They said something like "Film pendek 'Moving On' telah berjaya menambat hati penonton dengan gelagat lucu para pelakon..." then they showed the part where my mum and I had the conversation in our living room.

Me: I'm going out for dinner with Wee Kiat. I'll be back by about ten, k?

Mum: You're always out with him. Countless times I told you, he's problems differ from ours. He speaks with 'Ching Chong Ching Chong'! We speak with poise and grace.

Me: Mum, we have to live in harmony with other races because we live in a country with many different races. Only then we can achieve excellence. Especially the Malays.. Satu bangsa, orukulmakkal, yi ge ren, ONE PEOPLE, mak.. one people..

Mum: You think I'm an MRT station ah? Speaking in four different languages..

It doesn't sound as funny here but if you watch it, you'll probably be laughing your ass off. Congratulations to me because this is the first time my jokes make sense. HA HA HA.

I'm really looking forward to the next project. I'm trying to work on my ideas before I start doing the script. Perhaps something about schizophrenia would be interesting...

On a final note, many thanks to the following people:

Adam Esoof Piperdy for making the effort to rent video cameras and lighting as cheap as possible and using your own cash first.

Nur Ain Tajudeen for your dedication and perseverance in this project despite being a newbie.

Siti Aishah Selamat for giving us moral support and and helping us to concretize our ideas and making sure it doesn't stray away from Islam.

Ustaz Ahmad Khushairi for sponsoring us and giving moral support.

Ustaz Irwan for believing in us and giving us a platform to showcase future projects.

Ustaz Fairuz for being the one overseeing this competition as a whole. Thanks so much for starting this competition under the name of Al Ansar Mosque.

Esoof Piperdy and family for allowing Kak Ain and I to stay over the night to complete editing. And the many meals we had that night and the wonderful breakfast I enjoyed the following morning.

Surayah Batri for being a wonderful and supportive mother who never fails to give me everlasting support. Thanks so much for acting in our production. I love you, Ibu.

Liyana Sajupri for 'menyiboking' while filming but your presence made me at peace!

Illyas Effendi for allowing SKREM Productions to use your songs as a soundtrack.

Nurril Hirfana for understanding the situation I was in, being my confidante and giving me hugs whenever I freaked out.

Shariffah Zahrah for believing in me after watching the video and giving me words of encouragement.

Hariz Azhar for giving 'Moving On' critics that are encouraging and allowing me to be hopeful for a win.

Okay. That's all then. I can't give an Oscars-like speech but thanks to technology, I can do so.

Cheerios!

It frustrates me when I know my life is going down the drain, but other people simply don't think so. They keep thinking my life perfect, fuss free and no troubles.

I am not saint or angel. I am merely human. I have my flaws. I have my strengths.

No one can make me show my strengths 100 percent of the time. When I have to, I'll show you my flaws.

For one thing I know, humans tend to see the weaknesses more clearly than they can see the strengths.

Anyway, this is the first time I hold no leadership position in school. Weird, yes. But thankful too. Why, you may ask? I don't have to put up a fake front all the time. I can be mean or perhaps like what some might say, tactless, at some point in time.

I can't be bothered with people who either waste my time and effort, or people whom I do not benefit from at all.

However cliche it might sound, welcome to my life.

Saturday was Wake-up-the-entire-night Day for me. After the Meet the Parent Session back in school, I finished decorating the Malay Cultural Society(MCS) board. You could say it looks decent. Better than before, I presume.

Anyway, I rushed down to Adam's place right after that. We desperately needed to finish editing the short film. I'm hopeless when it comes to hardware so Adam had to rush to and fro his Poly project in the living room and help me transfer the data to his comp from the lappie in his room. I was so glad Kak Ain came to keep me company. She motivated me to finish the editing although she didn't really assist to the technical part. Then again, Kak Ain did contribute ideas that really helped me going on.

I kept telling myself and Kak Ain that we would finish editing by midnight so we can take the last bus home. In the end, Kak Ain left at 3 plus in the morning and I 'slept' over at Adam's place. Bottom line is that neither Adam nor me had sleep. We stayed up the entire night finishing the final touches. It was worth it. No wait, it is worth it. The film was beautiful and splendid. I'll put it up on Youtube once the awards ceremony is over. I can't bear the suspense but I have to. No insiders to help me on that. Bleargh.

Insya Allah, our hard effort and determination will pay off.

Have faith in Him and He will guide you.

Finally, the week is coming to an end. Hectic, crazy and busy is what I shall describe my week.

Anyway, the biggest and and most exciting day in my life is sadly over. We have officially finished the filming for 8 Minutes Filmmaking Competition. We just need to edit and get Illyas to sign the contract and voila, we're done! It was superbly exciting going around Singapore with our film equipments which included Redheads, and a bamboo pole mike. We did not rent the mike extension so we improvised! Trust Adam and me to come up with such ideas.

It was indeed tiring. Doing the same shots over and over again and saying the same dialogue two to three times. But Karno was a good sport. He willingly acted and did it so well. Thanks a lot dude! I really owe you dinner. Adam, as usual, was taking his own initiative. I love him to bits cause he actually researched about the sort of lighting and logistics we needed. Kak Aishah was being her giler self, but I liked her idea of taking photos while we were actually shooting. She kept bugging me for the camera but hey, it's only natural. I'm a cam whore too. Kak Ain was so helpful yesterday cause she was the mike woman. It's a tiring job to actually hold out the mike because your hands will get painful after some time. And finally, Liyana, thanks so much for helping out although you're not in the team. I really owe you dinner as well. Well, kudos to everyone!

Watch out for our film, aight? I hope it gets to be shown onto the big screen but if it doesn't, then we'll put it up on Youtube alongside my other productions. Oh yeah, the name sticks. We are SKREM Productions.

P.S. Thanks so much to Illyas and his band Mistaken Identity for allowing us to use their songs.

Friday night out with the Kool Kentals was.. well.. cool but kental..

I was from Esplanade Library, searching for the book that I need to use for Evaluation of Material (EOM) for Project Work. I was sneezing and sneezing in the library, thanks to the lovely temperature as well as Sari and Fana for infecting me with their unknown sickness. Heh. After contemplating whether or not to leave early for about an hour, cause I couldn't concentrate, I finally decided to leave at 7pm and go to Topshop to take a look at their new collection. To my surprise, they were having a sale.

Sale + Topshop = ULTIMATE HEAVEN

I checked my account balance and lo and behold! I have enough money to buy a decent outfit. Hey ho! I got a better bargain! I saw a beautiful pair of jeans and immediately took it to the changing room to try it out. I thought I saw a familiar hairstyle. When the woman turned, guess who it was? The new History teacher, Miss Samantha Wong. She was shopping at Topshop. Whoa. That's the first for me. To sum it up, I bought the jeans. My first pair of jeans from Topshop.

Then, I headed to Orchard. I had to wait for them for 40 minutes. Thank god Ryan was there to keep me company. If not, I would have died waiting for them. And too bad for us, Ayam Bakar Ojolali was taking the last orders. We didn't had the chance to savour the mouth watering Nasi Ayam. Boo Hoo!

Finally, we watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. IT WAS SUPER BORING. I hated it. But I fell in love with Fred and George Weasley. Sorry Ron. Your brothers are waaaaaayyyyy cuter than you are.

And on a final note, I swear I won't ever go out for midnight movies in town until I have gotten myself a vehicle. For now, I'll just stick to Tampines Mall midnight movies.

Things to do:

1. EOM
2. Script for 8 Minutes
3. MCS video

You enter the computer lab in your school library, hoping to finish the assignment your teacher needs by this afternoon. But did you finish it? No... You ended up reading blog after blog talking about food. More specifically, recipes for cupcakes and other bakes.

That's what happened to me, yes. And I'm feeling really inspired to bake a Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin with Cream Cheese topping for the Malay Cultural Society.

By the sound of it, it sounds good enough. Trust me.

I'm drooling and my stomach is grumbling. What a great combination!

Farewell my fellow food lovers.

The thing that bothers me most is someone my age being foolishly childish. At this point of time in your lifetime, you can always sort things out in a mature way. What I mean is being very diplomatic. What I despise most is when you are ask me something, specipically requesting that I answer truthfully, then when I answer your question, you get angry and just leave.

So why bother asking me to answer truthfully when the truth will just kill you?

This, my friends, is what I call ego. I am one person who will frankly answer questions. I don't bother to sugar coat what I say unless you are my mum. So next time, just accept what I say or don't bother asking because the only person who can tolerate my meaness is Fana. Why? Cause she's equally mean as I am. =)

By the way, heard of a new joke?

Look in the mirror.

I'm feeling damn bloody emofied thanks to Imran Ajmain's Seribu Tahun. Yes. Laugh. I'm listening to a Malay song. But I'm only doing so cause it's local and he's well-respected. And he formed the Beats Society and he is also Miss Esther Lee's friend -

Why am I convincing you readers that I don't listen to Malay songs?

Back to the topic. I think my maternal instincts are kicking in. The irony since I have never had a boyfriend. I see my sisters having fun with their kids and I wonder if I will ever get any. But before I can get kids, I'd have to be married. So the question is, will I ever get married?

I look around for guys that could be my potential life partners but only now I realise that the problem lies within myself. I reflected on what the hell is wrong with me and I came to a conclusion. I don't attract guys the right way. I end up being their best friend. I admit, it is my fault dressing up as a funky dakwah girl who wears Vans sneakers all the time and talking about music that they listen to. Yes, these kind of things are the so-called conversation starters but mine usually ends up being things that we always talk about and then it ends up being the factor that binds our friendship. And if I have feelings for him, I'll push them away by saying to myself "No Sham. He is your best/good friend."

But then again, I see other girls as fat as me (some even fatter) holding hands with their boyfriends on the streets and going for movies or whatsnot. And here I am, walking alone listening to Demolition Lovers on my MP3. It got me thinking once more; I don't let guys touch me. Is that the reason? I said to myself and I will say to other girls out there "No. You're a proud Muslim so why should you forgo your innoncence just to get a boyfriend?" Guys don't want girls who they can't touch or meddle around with. So the problem lies within the guys this time round.

Then I took the test(read second previous entry) and the computer claimed that I am too shy. Yes, I am shy because afterall I am an Introvert. One of the questions asked if I'd rather jump into a relationship or be friends with a guy first. I answered the latter, of course, because I don't want to have any regrets. I have to know someone first before having a proper relationship with him. That again, points the arrow to me being the root cause of my own problem. I am Judgemental, I admit. One look at you and I'll start analysing with a scanner in my head what sort of person you are. If the test turns out postive, hello you! Let's be friends. But if it's a loud 'Access Denied' I'd probably give you my signature fake smile and turn my heel around

Many people ask why am I thinking about finding a life partner. The answer is simple. I've not seen enough good guys in my entire lifetime. It doesn't help to have a father who's not always there for you. And being married isn't easy. Just ask my sisters. They're married with kids and you don't know the shit they go through. You need to have a husband that will be there by your side your entire lifetime. It's not just about money and sex. It's about the emotional support as well. It's about being happy for the rest of your life.

I always plan things ahead of time. I visualise my calendar and there are marked dates indicating what activity or event I have. Same goes for my life. I've made plans for my future career but not for my own personal life. I have no idea when I want to get married or when to have kids. These tiny details will change the prospects of my future career. If I plan to get kids, I must make sure I earn enough to give them a decent living and not go through the shit I did. Failure to plan means you're planning to fail.

Yes, I can wait. But everyone's patience has a limit. I'll give myself 4 more years. If I turn 21 years old without a boyfriend, welcome to Spinsterville, Sham. Be a career woman minus the attitudes of the cranky old single woman like - I shouldn't mention names here. I hate to admit this but I'm already considering living the rest of my life alone. I'd probably join the Single People Association or whatever it's called. Then I can be friends with that Dr Fatimah, one of the Members of Parliament of Singapore. Hmmm... good idea.

Imran Ajamain sings "Jangan putus harapan... Relaku mengejarmu seribu tahun lagi." Well honey, I don't have time for that. So long and goodnight.