I have come to an age where a few of my friends are ready to be married. In fact, 2 of them just did and I sincerely apologize for not being able to come and celebrate your harmonious union with the other half. They don't know each other, but their husbands have been friends forever. Coincidence or simply lucky?


Sis Nor who was my mentor during ITQAN 2007 and YLN Retreat is now happily married to the greatest ustaz one can ever find, Ustaz Ahmad Khushairi. They both look very compatible and the happiness can be seen clearly on their faces. Seri Pengantin orang katekan. Congratulations and I wish you both a great and successful future as a family.

Fariheen used to help me with the subject I was struggling most with, Maths. She taught me how to love numbers and algebra and she taught me life's greatest lesson - never fall in love with the wrong guy. I had hopes of you being a part of my family, you being my one and only sister-in-law. I was tired of having brother-in-laws and I kept praying that you would one day be that person I long for. I still remember my words to you 'I won't let him marry any one else.' But fate decided to change its course and you have found your soul mate at last. As much as I wanted you to stay, I know I cannot and I never will. And I'm sorry for that. So I wish you happiness with your husband and please remember me as the vulnerable naive little girl whom you tutored Maths to. And I'll forever remember you as my sister.


How I got to know 4 different souls through only 1 way: Islam

And this weekend, I shall celebrate another wedding. To be more precise, a wedding reception. Kak Ica has been married for almost a year to Abang Jay but they can only afford a reception now. So this Saturday, I shall be the one and only representative from our family to celebrate their union one more time. It's funny how they can be married 4 times. One nikah and 2 receptions. Oh yes, and Kak Ica claims that they've been married 'since they laid eyes upon each other.' Corny? Yes, I do know that. Unfortunately, I've been living with corniness ever since my third sister got married. Having 3 married sisters who are head over heels in love with their husband makes you corny. And emo. And dreamy. And sentimental. And hopeful. And they simply give you pressure to get married.

Bile lah aku punye turn?

See what I mean? I'm going on 18, I barely know what career path I will take after my A's and I have never had a boyfriend.

And I wanna get married?

Ummm.. No thanks. According to research, women who remain as virgins for their entire life and have no kids look 10 years younger than their actual age.

Yeah sure.. but you don't know that they go home to a house full of cats and they weep for a month because one of the kittens just died.

If I were to make a choice between motherhood and career, I won't be able to choose. I love kids and if I were to be given a choice, I'd have one right now. Boy or girl, I don't care. Kids brighten my life. But if I was allowed to quit school right now, I'll work my ass off as an events manager with Adam. Once we do it full time, with no stupid assignments or exams, we could be earning thousands.

Then again, the emptiness inside me won't go away unless someone makes me happy. I'm sick and tired of making other people happy. I'm always bright and cheerful and making other people's day but what do I get in return? Shit ass attitude that make my moral go to an all time low. For once, I am asking - no, begging - for that one person to make me smile all the time and make me feel that life is worth living for. Well, apart for my friendships with people like Kak Aishah, Adam, Sarah, Fana, the Kool Kentals and the QNPS gang, I just need one person to make me feel wanted and needed.

One thing that life taught me is that you don't always have to be strong. You need to sit down and cry sometimes. But don't ever pity yourself because only then, your strength to go on will just disappear.

For all their strength, men were sometimes like little children.

Even the strongest women needs a little pampering.