Musings of A Girl Named Sharmee

Assalammualaikum to all.

Yes, I know people are wanting to kill me now. I haven't blogged nor have I uploaded the pictures everyone's been asking me for. But hey! I have my reasons, okay? Pre-University Seminar burnt my entire week and prior to that I was busy preparing for Project REACH and the Parallel Presentation. Now I have to catch up on my work and at the same time prepare for Bahas 4PM which starts this weekend. After the exams, I have to zoom my way between College Day rehearsals and Read and Reach.

Faizal told me to grab every single opportunity I possibly can especially since I didn't get through council and house committee elections. Just this morning, he said he didn't really meant it considering that I have a lot on my plate now. I do realize that I signed up for a wee bit too many things but I did it subconsciously. Like I said before, people depended on me too much and I always willingly accept to give them assistance. It's a flaw of mine and I'm still working on it.

Next week is SMUN Conference and I can't wait because I finally can catch up the time I've lost with Shariffah. We're sharing a room and we're gonna party all night long with cup noodles and food made in the pantry. Haha. I miss that girl loads. It's really fun and exciting to be friends with her again just like old times.

Anyway, I have a new muse - making videos. I made the Pre-U Seminar multimedia report for Meridian as well as my Seminar Group's video presentation. And I think SKREM Productions is on her way. For those of you who are scratching your heads trying to pronounce the word, it's pronounced as ASS CRAMP. The name sticks. Thanks so much Tan Yong Wei.

So enjoy the video. Give comments, k?

I'm starting to think that people are taking advantage of me. They keep pointing their fingers at me for anything and everything. One more time and I'll just burst out screaming 'STOP ASKING ME TO DO THINGS FOR YOU!!!!' in their face.

May peace be upon all of you once more.

First and foremost, a big birthday shout out to my dearest sister, Shamsynar Ani, who today turns the big three-o. Yes people, my sister with almost the same name as me has turned 30 years old. Time has passed way too fast. Before you know it, I'll be turning 30 years old as well. Bleargh.

Secondly, another big shout out to my DARLING MUHAMMAD SHARI FENDY aka my beloved nephew. He turns 5 years old today! Yay Fendy! You know what he wants me to buy for him? Another set of dinosaur books. He'll probably grow up working with dinosaur artifacts.

Oh yes. If you do have the time, please go watch Priceless featuring the woman from The Da Vinci Code (I forgot her name). It's a funny movie but so worth your money and time. I laughed my ass off until Zheyi and Sha actually called me a crazy woman. But hey, I have admitted a long time ago that I am crazy. MUAHAHAHAH.

Pre-U Seminar is next week. Finally, the week that I have been waiting for ever since I signed up for that. My seminar group is a funny bunch of people. I don't really see the need of being enemies with anyone. I just pray that I get a roommate cause it will be so freaky to sleep alone in a hostel. And yes, does anyone know if the NTU Halls of Residence have wireless internet?

People say I'm a strong headed girl who speaks my mind and simply refuses to give up. But at times, giving up is simply the best thing. You can't possibly have everything you want in life no matter how much you really long for it. That's because God always have better plans for you than you had for yourself.

For now, I'll just focus on one thing: school. If it has to be my only life, then so be it. There's no use giving myself false hopes cause it'll just hurt me even more.

This sky will make me sick
So I'll give up on you
I'll give up on this

Afterall, saying something without actually saying it works for me.

Well, I didn't make it into the House Committee. Yet again, I failed to show my usefulness to the school. I can bet you that the comment on me by the House Comm members were something like Shamsydar has yet to show her leadership potential. Sure. I can't show you my potential if you don't give me a bloody chance. Whatever happened to democracy? Oh, I forgot. There's no such thing as democracy, even in Singapore.

In Temasek, leaders were chosen because of their capability. In Meridian, leaders are chosen if you look good and you suck up well to the authority. You show your true colours and BOOM! That's an opportunity lost. Nevertheless, I took the opportunity and though I didn't get it, I am very satisfied because I did my best. I did my rally speech and I also went through the interview. Like what Eminem said, opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

For the new House Comm, I wish you guys the best. Enjoy being there while you can. To Terence and Ryan, you guys will do a splendid job cause I have faith in you. To Sari, keep pushing yourself, girl! Not being in there doesn't mean you're a loser. You're the best fighter I've ever seen. And to ummm.. you know who. All the best screwing up the hopes and dreams of Atlas. Oops! Did I just say that?

Just so you know, I wanted to be in not because of the fucking piece of paper called The Testimonial. I know I am capable of serving the school and that was why I signed that bloody form. It's amazing how you chose the top two posts, really. One, the captain is apparently an obnoxious and rude guy who does not respect teachers. Two, the vice captain is the one who proclaimed to the entire world that he wants it for a good testimonial.

I'm not stopping here. I never said I'll end my fight. In fact, my fight just began. Next up for me? Spearheading the Project REACH. I guess volunteering is still my thang.

Ahh yes. For those who are appalled at my straight forwardness, welcome to the world of Shamsydar Ani. You ask for true colours, I'll give you true colours.

Success seems to be connected to action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes but they don't quit.

Atlas, I apologize for disappointing you guys. But please do keep having faith in me.