I'm starting to think about alternatives. Where to go if I don't make it to NTU School of Communications (I pray it will not happen). And right now, the only other thing that interests me is New York Film Academy. It feels like this is finally my thing. I'm not tapping on other people's success to achieve mine. Events is fun and probably a stable career, but I have dreams of my own as well.

Option 1: NTU School of Communications

Electronic and Broadcast Media. The only course that I have my eyes on so far. Pros: cheap, stay home, local internships and the security of following the norm. Cons: 'lack of opportunities', same old mundane life and being stuck in the same system I've been living in my entire lifetime.

Option 2: New York Film Academy

Going there brings a whole new meaning of 'The world is your stage.' It's not just about the place, it's about experiencing a learning style that is not of the norm in Singapore, the exposure of being elsewhere but Singapore and of course, the feeling of going over to New York to study and then coming back to be a successful filmmaker. Cons? Expensive.

Sometimes I wonder if I want to be normal. Can I even be normal in this country where people are often discriminated for being pregnant, wearing a tudong, being Malay etc etc? I have always loved being different, unique. Yet I ponder at times if it is all worth it?

God, I need to stop being idealistic.