Musings of A Girl Named Sharmee

Let's just say someone healed me in time.

"You just made my night bright. Now I can't sleep."

How corny can I get?

Being the number 1 fan of Mistaken Identity, I forwarded the Baybeats auditions registration email to Illyas. I did send it to Anthony as well but I guess he was busy in Cambodia. So Illyas, being forgetful, apparently forgot his email password but he didn't realise that he could open his inbox from MSN. After teaching him how to do it, he opened the forwarded mail I sent him. And guess what? He submitted the form like 24 hours before the closing date.

And Mistaken Identity got shortlisted to go for the auditions!!!!!

I know you guys have been trying for 5 years but with the extra effort and perseverance, I'm sure you'll get through. Show the mats and minahs what real music sounds like, and not bloody PeekabooCerite.

See that guy? That is the famous Adam. My best friend and boss. See that thing on his head? It's dreadlocks. DREADLOCKS. DREADLOCKS. I swear to God I will chop it all off when I see him next week. All he needs now is a Jamaican accent and voila he'll be a reggae kind of dude.

And I'm still laughing my ass off in the library looking at this picture.

I need to be strong. I need to survive the shit I am going through. I don't need a man to keep my head up high. I have always been strong, and I am strong, and I will forever be strong. Cause God gave me strength to live life as a woman and I will continue doing that.

I AM A SUPERWOMAN AND I AM BEAUTIFUL, DAMMIT!



Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
Slave to humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down
And I can't be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oooohh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

I had fun riding the battery operated tiger along the road outside Plaza Singapura to raise the publicity for Heartware Network's fund-raising event, Giving from the Heart@theAtrium, just now. Made me relive my non-existent childhood days.

Fana called me to remind me about MCS stuff and I am forced to believe that I will be starting dance practice as of Friday, 21 December 2007. Fear, phobia, anxiety, nervousness - and the list goes on - on how I feel about this so-called new 'career' of mine. My mind is all over the place like how Alvin and the Chipmunks were jumping all about when they drank Starbucks. And my heart is pumping even faster as I type about this.

Dance. Tarian. Dance. Tarian. Dance. Tarian. Dance. Tar -

So I'm going to do it regardless of what people say, regardless of how bad I think I dance and even if the stage ends up being broken and people leaving the concert hall. Why?

Because I don't give up.

So please do come over to Meridian's Dance Concert next year (I'll do some publicity when the date is nearer) if you want to see me dance. I only dance once in a lifetime.

I owe my thanks to three girls who had always been there for me; Sarah, Izzati and my darling Kak Mira. And yes Sarah, you're the sister I never had either. =)

"A woman has strengths that amaze men. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying and she cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her, she sometimes forgets what she's worth."

I shall not bother anymore because I believe that no such person exists on this earth that can make me change my mind about men. Yes, all men.

Shopping with Sarah kept me sane while Alvin and the Chipmunks made my day. And conversations like this keeps reminding me of the reason of my existence.

*sharmee* torn says:
then u do till closing laa?

Rin says:
shld be

*sharmee* torn says:
cool..

*sharmee* torn says:
dress well.. haha

Rin says:
haha.

Rin says:
nothing to dress ah

Rin says:
just plain black tee

*sharmee* torn says:
no PLAIN WHITE TEE???

*sharmee* torn says:
hahahhahahahaha

Rin says:
...want me slap you? lol

*sharmee* torn says:
i get lame and high when its night

Rin says:
lame + high = no good

Rin says:
you start acting as if you're drunk

Come Sunday, it will be a day for me to go into full emo-fied mood.

Abang Ayul will nikah on Sunday but the reception will be soon after he gets enough money. Apparently the trend of nikah gantung, that's when you get officially married first then have the celebration later, is getting into my extended family members. All thanks to my eldest sister who started it.

So Kool Kentals couldn't reunite, but half of us did. I had dinner at Breeks with Adam, Hakim and Sarah yesterday and I had so much fun. Yesterday was too fun to be put in words. I miss those jokers already.

It is close to midnight and I received conversation on MSN from Chee Wei Hui. Does the name sounds familiar?

He was my Project Work teacher.

The guy who sacrificed his social life for us. Ho ho ho. And he has 3 girlfriends whom are all Science teachers. And his MSN nickname happens to be Wizard, for some reason.

And I wonder why I am a geek with 'weird' for the last name.

Miscommunication is the ultimate mistake anyone can make. I hate it when I've given my heart and soul to something or someone but I end up getting shit. This is what I get for being too helpful, eh?

Anyway, to the Kool Kentals, aka Adam, Izzati, Andy, Hakim, Sarah, Nani and myself, if you're free on Wednesday night hit me back with an SMS. We must meet before Adam goes to Thailand for holiday and before the holidays end.

Can you believe that it's less than a month before school reopens and sooner or later I'll be sitting for the A Levels?

SO I reviewed my old pictures again and I am missing my girls very much.


Biler mau jumpe laaaa????

Oh yes, I have come to realise that through out my teenage years, I have been very much your average GEEK. The very reason why my 'band' is called the Kool Kentals.

Having hanging around with the boys lately made me remove any stereotypical thinking I have about them. They actually have a lot more feelings than I used to think. They can get very emotional and sentimental, and I mean very. And knowing this made me softer at heart. My guard is always up, but I think I'm ready to let the gates open even if the Trojans are going to attack. After all, you do learn from mistakes. You can't expect your life to run so smoothly and oh so very perfect.

And yes, thanks to them I've been listening to Eric Clapton. I know he is much idolised by guitarists everywhere, so I decided to join the club. Wonderful Tonight is the greatest song of all time and I am so in love with this song.





I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you

A song this simple makes wonders.

I am confused.

I have a lot friends, both guys and girls. However, I prefer hanging out with the guys rather than the girls, for some reason. I can talk about everything and anything I want. I don't need to censor or filter my words. I mix with them so easily and they treat me as one of theirs.

So am I a man trapped in a woman's body?

God forbid, no I am not. I'm straight. I sometimes fall for the guys I hang out with. Ho ho ho. Hanging out with Adam, Danial, Fadli and Shahrin made me feel like I was home. Its been a long long long long time since I hung out with people like them. I guess JC tamed me and made me more like a lady.

Except for the part where I have to dance.

Then again, there's still the tomboy in me. I think it will always be there, thanks to my dear brother. Oh well, I'd rather be a tomboy than a girl who whines at every single thing, and cries when she chipped a nail.

Ok, apart from yesterday when I chipped my nail trying to unscrew the tripod stand. It was irritating to have a sharp nail.

Work attachment today at Plaza Singapura and I'll be emceeing tonight's performances, I hope. And I'm pissed cause I can't go for Fityan Power. Sorry babes.

And tomorrow, working with the dudes I mentioned earlier again - minus Danial.

The weather here is hot and humid. The first thing I said when I got out of the airport I said, 'Damn, it's hot!'

I made a conclusion that you cannot go stay in another country for more than two weeks because after that duration, your body is just beginning to adapt to the climate and weather, and you're just getting used to the system. Leave before you start thinking of staying for a whole year. I wanted to remain in US, I admit, but I couldn't force myself to pretend that no one needs me back in Singapore. I'm not being obnoxious but it is true, my family needs me.

They have become so dependent on me that they cannot do laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning up the house, washing the toilet, and etcetera, without me.

I am almost 18 and I'm still being treated like the maid of the house. Well, I'm sorry that you couldn't survive without me for the past 3 weeks, but you must realise that I may not be there for you guys all the time. I have my own life and I will build my own family in the near future - even if my family only consists of cats and adopted kids. Yes, I know all this running-the-house shit will help me to be a good housewife, mother, blah blah blah. But I just hate it when people take advantage of me.

I'm sorry, but I really despise going to a messy, unkempt home with an empty refrigerator.

So that's the reason for the silent treatment.

Oh yes, another thing. I have been fat and overweight my entire life and I am glad to say that I am happy the way I am. You don't need to tell me that I gained a few extra pounds over my stay in Detroit. It's my body and my life. If you're too ashamed to call me your sister, or daughter, then that's just too bad.

On a higher note, tomorrow will be my first day at Heartware Network and after which I'll be helping Adam out at an event.

I truly apologize for the emotional outburst. I told you I'm just as weak as you are.