Musings of A Girl Named Sharmee

I went to catch a movie with Sarah just now, watched The Game Plan. It totally rocks. Just like The Rock. Get it? Get it?

cricket sounds

You can't blame me cause I love movies that make me cry. So anyway, having nothing to do and money to spare, we got our ears pierced - again - and suprisingly, I met Shafiq at the same shop buying a leather cuff. A red one, mind you. I told him it was ugly but he insisted. The funny thing was that after watching The Game Plan, I bumped into the MJC Sarah. Apparently she was watching the same movie. I bet you she could hear the maniacal laughter I made.

Weird huh? I met the other half of the former couple a few hours from each other.

Right. The year is fast approaching to an end and I guess this year, I want to open up nominations to Sharmee's Best of 2007. In the past years, I did the the list myself based on my own judgment and opinions. This year, I want my readers to have a say in what should be this year's list. Have a look at last year's Sharmee's Best of 2006 and figure out what should be the best, or the worst.

I accept any categories, from Most Overrated Song of the Year to the Couple of the Year. Please send your entries to sharmee.babe@gmail.com as soon as you have an idea.

But hey, if no one's interested, don't blame me for bad reviews.

I use to sing this song with my BFF, Sarah. It reminds me of how much we've gone through together and the many years that passed since we met. I love you, girl.

Oh yes, and to new found girlfriend, Fana, this is for you too.

I will not be in Singapore from 8 November 2007 to 3 December 2007. Why?

DETROIT ROCK CITY!!!!

I just felt like saying that. So I went to Orchard with Sarah just now to get the coat that I badly wanted from Topshop. I kept convincing myself that it would be an investment for the future. Since I want to travel to see the world once I finish my studies (i.e. 4 years time), I felt that a nice coat that fits nicely and looks really good on me would be worth my money. Who knows I might be going to Denmark to visit Sasha Bach (Band) or perhaps Paris to visit Louvre Museum.
I cannot wait for Malay 'A' Levels and PW Oral Presentation to be over because by then, I would have already started packing for my Detroit trip and voila! Detroit, here I come! The scary thing is that I would be traveling alone. Ibu's not coming with me cause she would be coming next year when Kak Ica gives birth. 26 hours in the air alone by myself. I'd have to entertain myself with my iPod, PSP and many books. I thought of watching my three seasons of CSI on air but I'd rather not waste my battery.

It's been so long since I traveled so I am much anticipating this trip although it costs me a lot of money. Oh well, I need to getaway too.

13 days!

As usual Aidilfitri is the time of the year for you to visit your relatives, friends, and extended families. Sometimes, you don't even know who the hell you're visiting cause your mother apparently has a lot of cousins, second cousins and... you get my drift.

So I was at my mom's cousin's place when her cousin's husband asked me where I was working. I looked at my mom, my sister and back to my mom. I was shocked. Okay, I admit, I'm used to this shit people asking me if I'm engaged or when is my turn to get hitched. I thought my relatives would grow out of the habit of asking me that question, especially since I was featured on Suria Segar and all of them watched it. At times, I feel that my relatives are so ignorant that they do not even know who's my mom or dad. On second thought, I only get this shit from my maternal side.

Another thing I love about Aidilfitri is that wherever I go, I become some sort of kid magnet. My third sister, Kak Mira, has three kids and all of them stick themselves to me each time I come over. It's the same with Kak Nai's, my eldest sister, daughter. Sophie will just run to me and shout 'Aunty Mok!!!!'. Sometimes, I wonder if it's because they miss me so much, or that they feel I make a good mother.

Motherly instincts kicking in.

Okay! Here are Raya pictures from Sunday witht he Qiaonan gang. I love them all.

Thank you for calling.

Thank you for apologizing.

Thank you for saying that you missed me.

Thank you for just thinking of talking to me once more.

I have fallen in love with this girl. She sings really wonderful songs and wears sneakers with dresses. And I thought I was the only one who does that.



Ahh yes... this songs sums everything up.

So I was cleaning my room last week to prepare for Aidilfitri and I came across some really old photos. Well, not exactly really old, but old enough to make me feel as though it was 10 years ago. They were photos of my lower secondary school days. I was so naive, carefree and dumb back then. For one reason, I had really horrendous hair, as dark as coffee and my teeth were ugly. On the other hand, I was quite slim then. Oh yes, I was almost hot. Haha. Canoeing and running everyday helps you get fit.

Why was I dumb? I apparently cut the picture of my crush in Sec 1 out of the yearbook and put it in my wallet. And how big exactly was the picture? A quarter of the size of a 1 cent coin. How pathetic can I get? Apart from that, I was actually a lot more mean when I was younger. I had a blog, yes, but they were filled with vulgarities and most of time, I was dissing people that I disliked. So if you think I'm mean now, think again.

However, the best part of me being dumb back then was when I fell for a friend's best friend. He had the loveliest locks of hair, and big eyes with really long eyelashes. Plus, he has naturally shaped eyebrows. He was so charming, minus the fact that he was fat (he still is fat, but a lot fatter). What made me fell for him? I have no idea but we lived across each other and we loved cats. Our conversations were mostly about our cats. We always quarrel as to whose cat is cuter or fatter or smarter. We got so close that people were asking when were we getting together.

Sad thing was, we never did. In the later part of our friendship, I somehow found out he liked one of my close friends. What hurt me more was that he was just using me and playing around with my feelings. The last straw was when he refused to stand up for me when his friends did a really bad prank on me. You could not have imagined how crushed I was. It took me almost a year to get over him and find someone else to muse around with.

What made it worse? The girl was my bestest friend's girlfriend. Can you imagine how furious I was? It's enough that he nearly tore my heart open but to hurt my best friend is just unbearable. I became smart and realised he was not for me. And mind you, it was not puppy love.

The latest news I heard about him was that he is still dating the girl whom I was once friends with. Dating but not together yet. Apparently, he ditched his last girlfriend to court this girl. And hey ho guess what? People hate him now. When it was me whom he messed with, people sided me and said he was a jerk who wants to act like a Casanova. Now, even his closest friends disapprove of both him and the girl. They ask rhetorical questions like how can the girl fall for him and such.

Oh well, love is blind, they say. I sometimes ask myself why did I ever fall that idiotic good for nothing jerk. And now I'm asking the girl the same question.

To him: if your life is hell, congratulate yourself. It's called karma, honey.

Another Ramadhan has come and gone.

Oh well, time flies when you have an enriching life, doesn't it?

Salam Aidilfitri to all my Muslim friends out there. I do hope this year's Syawal means something to you. But first, I sincerely apologize for any wrong doings I have done to any of you. Enjoy your Aidilfitri, my friends!

Way earlier this morning, I blogged about missing my dad and stuffs. Right after that entry, I cried and then messaged my dad:

Ayah, I miss you... I want to buke with you today.

He only replied at 8am but it still touched my heart. After school, ayah fetched me from school to go Geylang to get supplies for Aidilfitri. On our way there, he asked me what I wanted to have for break fast and then suggested some things like curry chicken and ayam lemak chilli padi. Then I thought to myself, perhaps some seafood would be great.

Ayah: How bout sotong sambal bakar?

I was so shocked. He read my mind. At Geylang market, ayah was babbling away on how you should choose the squid. He kept rambling to himself (or to me also) that you must choose ingredients well or the dish would not turn out as desired. As soon as we reached his place, he started chopping onions while I blended the chillies. He was so excited to cook.

I have never been happier my entire life. Allah answered my prayers.

I can't wait for Aidilfitri because this year, I'm going for visits with ayah, aunty and my dear younger sister, Mariam.

Have faith in Him and He will answer your prayers.

It's almost 2 in the morning and I can't sleep.

Aidilfitri is coming really soon and I can't wait. Surprisingly, my house is suddenly full of life this year. We're fixing new fans, painted the house a new set of colours, bought new curtains, and I'm making kuihs. I suppose it's because I didn't have a chance to celebrate it last year when I was mugging hard for O levels.

So anyway, I was at Youtube listening to Raya songs and I fell in love with two songs: Pulanglah by Aisyah and Cahaya Aidilfitri by Blackdogbone.

Somehow, I miss having a dad around the house. Ayah used to be so helpful and loving. When I had a problem, I would rather go to him than Ibu cause he always made me laugh instead of cry. Ibu can't listen to people's problems cause she can't handle them. I was a daddy's child back then. I would follow him around everywhere and when I wanted Barbie dolls or books, I'll go to him. He would give me extra pocket money and always advised me to study hard. Even though he was strict when it comes to our studies, I know fully well of his intentions. He wanted us to get the education he never had.

I remember when Kak Ica wanted to go to Australia to study the course she wanted so badly. Although we didn't have the money, he was willing to work extra hours and came home late just so he can fulfill his daughter's dreams. Ayah once said to me, 'Education comes first. You don't have it, you won't have a life.'

Being the youngest made me the closest to Ayah. We used to watch movies on weekends lazily in our living room with cushions thrown all around us. And when Ibu wasn't home, he'd cook for me and Ajo. And mind you, Ayah is a great cook. When he had nothing to do, he'd bring me along to Ikea or Geylang or Johor to go shopping. I admit, I am the luckiest of my siblings and thus my huge physical appearance.

I guess that's why I was badly affected when Ibu and Ayah divorced. I became rebellious and was almost a minah. Thankfully, other people came forward to save me from that fate. Just to mention a few, they were Fariheen, Miss Esther Lee, Mr Jared Oh and well yes, Faizal. If he never asked me to join Fityan Ghufran, I don't know what was to be of me.

It's been 3 years since I accepted the fact that my parents are now mortal enemies. My third Aidilfitri without outings to Geylang on the eve of Aidilfitri. My third Aidilfitri of spending the morning praying at the mosque with Ibu and then going to visit my relatives with Ayah in the afternoon. My third Aidilfitri crying for no apparent reason.

I really miss having a complete family. But I suppose it's better this way. Lesser noise pollution and peace at last. Lincoln Burrows from Prison Break once said, 'If you love someone, you have to let them go.' I believe so because now, I'm closer to my mum and I no longer take my dad for granted.

Sometimes I wonder if the stigma of divorce will be significant on me such that I won't ever have my own family.

Oh well, I'll pray for the best. I love you, Ayah. And I'll always be your little girl.

It is sad to see how long it is for two people to reconcile. Okay, reconcile is too strong a word. I prefer the term 'saying-hi-to-each-other-again'.

It's too hard to go back to where we began. I'm sorry.

I feel like talking about my inexistent love life. Again. Yes, I'm sorry for boring you guys with this topic that never seem to leave my head.

I was on Anak Melayu (AM for short and yes, I'm still there) and was just profile hopping. I came across this guy's profile which for the first time intrigued me, because at AM, you usually get the Mat that rides a kental mat rempit bike who doesn't even know how to craft out a proper sentence in English. Surprisingly, his profile was in perfect English and he write poetry on his AM blog. I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D. I mean, I do come across guys who write poetry in their blogs but most of them are crap. The kind of poetry people like Levan from Astroninja/Ronin (take your pick) would write. I went on to read his blog and I realised I get attracted to guys who can charm their way with words.

I wouldn't call them sweet talkers but more of linguistically inclined. All my life, I wished for a guy who can make me laugh, tell me that I'm beautiful subtly, and simply enjoys the Arts as much as I do. When I read that guy's poetry and blog entries, I felt that I've met the love of my life - online - and without even meeting him. You guys can laugh, yes. But you know how the very cliche line goes 'I loved you even before we met'? I feel just like that.

Don't get me wrong, I am not in love with that guy. I just have a clearer inkling of what the kind of guy attracts me. Some people turn me off with the way they write but others get me excited when they start writing. That's probably the reason why I had the shots for the other him.

My dream guy, you asked?

1. Charm his way with his flair of words
2. Make me laugh with witty and smart jokes
3. Enjoys reading like I do. A date with me is simple, take me to a library and recommend me books.
4. Enjoys music like I do. Take me to a record store and recommend me GOOD bands and I'll love you even more.
5. And of course, able to make intellectual conversations with me and not this:

Guy: ngah buat pe?
Me: ummm.. nothing much.. watching tv and talking to you. haha.
Guy: ohh.. tak kluar?
Me: no laa.. a bit lazy today..
Guy: Dah makan?

At this point in time, I close the MSN window and if it gets worse, I usually block him.

Anyway, I'd probably still be a spinster with 40 cats if I continue hoping for the emergence of that Dream Guy. How much must I lower my standards just to meet him?

Worse come to worse, I'll marry a rich Arab. No wait, Arabs only marry Arabs.

Heck, I'll earn lots of money and splurge it all on traveling and clothes. Yes. That sounds like a wonderful plan!